SEGMENT 1: INTRODUCTION:
A video package airs, highlighting events that occurred last week,
with Bishop Cross pinning Romeo after a miscue between Romeo and Jaguar in a
ten-man tag team main event. Romeo is
showing looking up angrily at Jaguar as the video fades. From there,
Cade: Welcome to PWA Frequency! I’m Nick Cade, along with Rick
Madsen and…
Suddenly, the music breaks and White Town’s “Your Woman” hits, prompting
the crowd to cheer as Paul Ferrara, wearing a Santa hat, makes his way through
the curtain.
Cade:
And there he is! Ladies and
gentlemen, let’s welcome Paul Ferrara back to the broadcast booth!
Madsen: And a well-deserved response
from this crowd!
Cade:
Welcome back, Paul.
Madsen: I’m doing well, Paul. Doing well.
Cade: Believe me Paul, we’re all feeling
the same way. However, Vic won’t be back
until Revival, so for the next two episodes of Frequency, it’s the three of us.
Madsen: Me too.
Cade: Alright ladies and gentlemen, it’s
time to get started with this special holiday edition of Frequency! We’ve got a big six-man tag team match,
pitting Mike Griffin, Infernus and Jackie Baccaro against Jason Calysto, Greg
Tantalus and Paul Dawkins, plus much more!
Let’s send it down to Lee Palmer!
SEGMENT 2: RINGSIDE:
Palmer: Ladies and
gentlemen, please welcome the commissioner of the PWA, Kerry Cox!
The fans cheer loudly as “War Machine” by KISS takes over
the speakers and the commish makes his way to the ring. Cox has a smile on his face and a mic in his
hand as he merrily steps into the ring.
As the cheers begin to slowly dwindle, Cox begins to speak.
Cox:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the holiday edition of PWA
Frequency! Happy holidays! You know, I came out here tonight to spread
some holiday cheer, to wish everyone a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a
happy Kwanzaa, or whatever holiday which you celebrate. I want to make sure that all of you are
having a good time and aren’t regretting spending your hard-earned money to
come out to a PWA show. Tonight is our
way of giving thanks to all of you, to lightening up a bit and just having some
fun with all of you, and enjoying the holiday season. With that said, there has been one certain
superstar in the PWA locker room that has made it a bit of a habit to have a
ton of fun at this holiday show. To
remind you all of what I’m talking about, let’s roll the footage from our
special episode of Frequency on Christmas Eve 2002:
"Here Comes Santa
Claus" begins inexplicably over the PA system, but somewhere in between
the fans' confusion and laughter, a huge roar from the crowd greets the arrival
of Norm The Pizzaman, badly disguised as Santa Claus! Norm, er...Santa climbs
into the ring with a big red sack and grabs a microphone.
Santa Norm: Ho! Ho! Ho! Meeeeerrrrryyyyy Christmas! Have all you little boys
and girls been good this year? I thought so. So with the help of a few of my
little elves here, I'm going to bring Christmas to you kids here in Las
Vegas--a few hours earlier! Music man, if you will hit my music please!
"Here Comes Santa Claus" replays and this draws an enormous pop from
the capacity crowd as five midgets dressed in green with pointy hats begin to
unload T-shirts and other gifts from Santa Norm's sack and blast them into the
crowd with confetti guns and slingshots. The sack is still half full when
Metallica's "Don't Tread On Me" begins. A collective gasp comes over
the crowd as GI Jew stalks toward the ring, carrying a thin red, white and blue
sack and perhaps the angriest look ever. The elves dart from the ring and crowd
next to the announcers as GI Jew grabs a microphone.
Jew: Alright, I have had enough of this shit! Santa Norm.... is this supposed
to be fun? Is this supposed to make every one of these jackasses happy? How can
you cheer this man while he disrespects the most important holiday of the year?
Santa Norm: Well, GI Jew, I was just trying to spread a little Christmas cheer.
I don't think I was disrespecting anybody.
Jew: Did I tell you to speak prick?!?! I don't give a shit about Christmas, I
was talking about Hanukkah you dumbass! This little show you put on has disrespected
every Jewish person here in this crowd, namely me. My manager and my agent are
already in
Santa Norm: It’s not like that at all. I was just---
GI Jew folds Norm up with a massive clothesline as the fans gasp in horror. Jew
then mounts Norm and proceeds to turn his face into hamburger with repetitive
punches, until a big pop comes for the five elves, who jump on top of GI Jew to
try to stop him. This proves to be a huge mistake, as
Jew shows no mercy on the elves by clotheslining them all down at once! While
all six men writhe on the mat in pain, GI Jew tosses one elf over the top rope
and onto the arena floor! Another elf is bounced off the middle rope and Gored
to the mat! A third elf is gorilla pressed into the crowd! Jew decides what to
do with the fourth elf, and he grabs him by the legs
before spinning him airplane-style before chucking him into the front row! Only
one elf and Santa Norm remain on the mat as GI Jew reaches into his own sack
and pulls out a red, white, and blue baseball bat!
GI Jew props the final elf in between the top and middle ropes with his back
facing the ring and him looking at the Frequency entryway for help. Help cannot
come soon enough as GI Jew blasts him in the back with the bat! Before a riot
ensues, Santa Norm gets up and clubs GI Jew from behind! Norm is tearing into
the first Progressive Champion with hard right hands before whipping him to the
ropes and being obliterated with a Gore on GI Jew's return! Norm lays flat on
his back as an incensed GI Jew hold the bat high and crashes it into his rib
cage! Blood begins to seep from the mouth of Santa Norm as GI Jew rolls him
onto his stomach and completely splinters the bat over his kidneys! GI Jew
picks up the microphone again as he fans drown him in jeers and even death
threats.
Jew: Happy Hanukkah, pussy.
"Don't Tread On Me" begins again as GI Jew slowly walks back up the
ramp. Fans have completely lost it at this point as several pelt
him with bottles, cups, etc., and security struggles to keep some in their
seats. The camera shows several parents shielding the eyes of their young as
stretchers fly down the ramp to help the victims.
Cox:
Do you think that was something?
Well, check out how he followed that up last year, in
The shot cuts back to the ring, where
Cox: As you can see, GI Jew and these holiday
shows just simply go hand in hand. Which
is why, tonight, I’m going to make that even more apparent. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, in this very
ring, GI Jew will not be in a humorous segment, but he will be in action. And he will be in action against the Alaskan
Monster Solomon… with the PWA Championship on the line! Enjoy the show!
The fans cheer loudly as “War Machine” hits and Cox
exits the ring.
Cade: My God! It’s Solomon vs. Jew for the championship,
tonight!
Madsen: Stay with us, we’ll be right
back!
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK #1 --
SEGMENT 3: MATCH 1:
DEAN NASH VS. KRIS ANTHONY VS. SPEED DEMON:
Referee:
Jason Church
The action is set to get under way once "A Violent
Reaction" by American Head Charge begins to play. Boos begin to flood the
air as Speed Demon steps out, suprisingly alone for the first time in quite a
few weeks.
Cade: Speed Demon is out here alone tonight? I'm kinda
shocked at that, I saw Reaper in the building earlier on.
Ferrara: As did I, but
Commissioner Cox has banned all partners from ringside for this match. They'll
have their chance to get it on at Revival.
Madsen: Good move. I know the referee must be relieved.
Earshot's "Control" plays next, and the
boos grow even stronger as Kris Anthony makes his way down to the ring,
led by Justin Schenck.
Cade: Now wait a minute here. What is Justin doing out
here then?
Madsen: I've got a feeling he isn't just here for the
scenery though.
Cade: Tell me about it.
The Prodigy's "Spitfire" plays last and the fans finally
have something to cheer as Dynamite Dean Nash makes his way down to the squared
circle. He removes his newly won Tag Team Championship belt and rolls into the
ring, where Speed Demon and Anthony pounce on him.
The bell rings and the two men beat Nash down into the ground
before quickly turning their fury against one another. Demon takes over with a
knee to the midsection and sends Anthony down with a big left hand. He turns
his attention back to Nash, who is waiting on him with a huge dropkick!
Nash covers for one...two...and Demon barely kicks out just as Anthony yanks
Nash off.
The Natural drops an elbow to the back of Nash's head before
turning to go up to the middle rope. Looking to drop a fist on Nash, Anthony
dives off, but right into a big tackle from Speed Demon!
Nash shakes off the cobwebs to go after Speed Demon, but the
former tag champion finds a way to blast the current tag champion with The
Demonizer! Demon goes for a cover, but he is quickly yanked out by Schenck!
Cade: What?! Justin just pulled Speed Demon out!
Madsen: And now he's taking off!
Schenck quickly hurries up the ramp as Anthony crawls over into a
pin attempt on Nash. Church makes the count for one...two...three!
"Control" hits again, prompting an angry Speed Demon to charge back
down the ramp to chase Anthony out.
Madsen: Wait, look what's waiting on him!
With the match over, nothing is stopping Reaper from barreling
down the ramp and forcing Anthony back into the ring. The Lost Souls begin a malicious
beatdown on The Natural, prompting Greg Price to join the fray. Within moments,
Damien Fields rushes down the ramp, swinging his first championship belt in the
direction of anything that moves until Nash is helped to his feet. Metallica's
"Ride The Lightning" hits as both teams take
off up the ramp, making sure to threaten the Tag Team Champions on their way
out.
WINNER VIA PINFALL AT
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK #2 --
SEGMENT 4: JUMBOTRON:
The camera shifts to the Jumbotron, which takes us to an
outdoor view of an extravagant mansion in
Wellington: Ah, you’re here again. I take it you know that the time is drawing
near. You see, when you have the wealth
that I do, you tend to get bored, and bored pretty easily I might add. That is why I, Dexter P. Wellington, am
looking for a new challenge. I
appreciate the finer things in life, and there is nothing finer than having
your hand raised in the center of a wrestling ring, your peers and everyone
watching at home acknowledging that you are the best in the world. Someday soon, that will be me. I am not coming to the PWA to lose. My aspiration, my one goal, is to become the
PWA World Heavyweight Champion. And do
you know how many times in my life I’ve failed to accomplish my goals, failed
to get what I want? The answer is
zero. And this will be no
exception. In two weeks, Dexter P. Wellington
will arrive in the PWA. And when I do, I
will get exactly what I want.
Just then, a butler enters the room.
Butler:
Master Dexter, your bath is drawn.
With that,
SEGMENT 5: BACKSTAGE:
The camera cuts backstage, where Christmas music is
playing and Lauren Tantalus is over a stove, wearing an apron, happily cooking.
Behind her in the room are Hollywood
Mike Griffin, bodyguard Jonathan Brett, and agent Ari Greenstein. They are joined by Infernus and Jackie
Baccaro, who will be teaming with
Lauren:
Alright, is everybody ready to eat?
Griffin: That smells delicious Lauren,
what is it?
Lauren: Filet mignon, my specialty. Everybody sit down, it’s ready.
Griffin: You know Ari, this personal
chef idea was great.
Greenstein: Thank you.
Baccaro: Listen
Infernus: Like you wouldn’t believe. I made him tap out like a bitch to his own
hold in the locker room before, now I’ll do it in the ring.
Lauren: Alright, here we go guys.
Lauren then serves plates of filet mignon to the five men
in the room.
Griffin:
Mmm, this is amazing.
Lauren: (laughing) I know. When it comes to cooking, I am GOD!
Brett: As opposed to other areas of
life?
Lauren: Well… no… I’m just God. Hahahaha.
Lauren: Yes is it.
Just then the door opens, and The Miracle Mike Troha
wheels himself in.
Troha:
Well look what we have here.
Lauren: I didn’t know you invited him.
Troha: I want my bodyguard back.
Greenstein: Shouldn’t you be out of that
wheelchair by now anyway?
Troha: Um, I didn’t think you were Dr.
Greenstein. Are you?
Greenstein: No…
Troha: Well then shut the hell up. Listen
Lauren: How bout we wheel you down the
stairs and kill you?
Troha: How bout you get back to cooking,
woman?
Lauren then lunges at Troha to attack him with a spatula,
but Greenstein holds her back.
Brett rises from the couch, thinks it over, and then
suddenly boots Troha in the face, knocking him right out of the
wheelchair! He then lifts Troha’s
wheelchair and heaves it out of the room!
Troha struggles to his feet, hopping on one leg, trying to keep the
pressure off his torn quad, but
Brett:
(screaming down the hall) And stay out!
With that, they all get back to their table and continue
eating.
Cade:
I think these might be the most despicable people I’ve ever seen in my
life.
Madsen: Folks, we’ll be right back.
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK #3--
SEGMENT 6: MATCH 2: PWA WOMEN’S CHAMPION KEIKO ISHIDA & JADE
VS. CAMIEKO & LIZ RUSH:
Referee:
Jason Church
Joydrop’s “Thick Skin” plays, and the
crowd offers a decent pop for Liz Rush as she appears from behind the curtain.
She rides the welcome down the ramp, and into the ring, where she poses briefly
for the fans. Then, Aaliyah’s “Hot Like Fire” causes
the
Cade: I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Camieko look more serious than she does
tonight.
Madsen: And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. Anything that has Keiko
Ishida involved in it will definitely draw her attention.
As Camieko settles in the ring, “Zerospace” by Kidneythieves hits next,
bringing out a three-time Women’s Champion in Jade. She collectively walks down
the ramp and stops at its base to await her partner, who arrives to “Samurai”
by Juno Reactor. The crowd boos passionately for the cold and calculating Keiko
Ishida. With the belt tightly wrapped around her waist, she makes her way to
the ring without making any acknowledgement to the crowd or even to her tag
team partner. They climb into the ring separately, and Ishida removes the belt.
Before she can hand it to the referee, Camieko begins jawing with Ishida while
pointing at the belt. Ishida, after giving the belt to the ref, marches up to
Camieko and before long, they break out into a shoving contest.
Cade: Hey, the bell hasn’t even rung yet!
Liz steps onto the apron and Jade begrudgingly follows suit. The bell rings,
but the action has already begun with Ishida and Camieko belting each other
with forearms. Ishida manages to back Camieko into the ropes before launching
her off to the other side. When Camieko returns, Ishida lifts her up high and
sends her crashing into the canvas, flat on her face. The crowd cringes, but
Ishida is not done. She lifts Camieko back onto her feet, only to send her
tumbling back into her corner with a standing hurricanrana. Camieko dizzily
tags Rush into the match, and Jade holds out her hand, expecting a tag. Ishida
looks over at Jade before choosing to ignore her, and going to work on Rush.
Cade: She’s refusing to tag Jade in! That might be a mistake on her part.
Madsen: I agree.
Ishida whips Rush into a neutral corner before flying into her with an
outstretched arm. Rushed is pulled out of the corner, and after Ishida boots
her in the stomach, she is easy prey for a DDT that lands her on her head.
Ishida gets back to her feet and beckons Rush to stand.
Cade: Oh, this isn’t going to be pretty.
Madsen: On the contrary, they’re damn gorgeous!
Cade: That’s not what I meant!
Rush stumbles back to her feet, and with a running start, Ishida drives Rush
into the mat with an STO. Ishida effortlessly covers for the three count. “Samurai” hits once more, and Ishida celebrates in
the ring, but Jade looks disgusted.
Cade: And just like that, this one is painfully over.
WINNERS VIA PINFALL AT
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK
#4--
SEGMENT 7: JUMBOTRON:
Back from commercial, our attention is turned to the
Jumbotron, where we see an extensive video highlighting Jon Dulberg’s efforts
to train Russian national boxing champion Vladimir Vydrina over the past week.
The Rocky-style montage shows Vydrina getting better and better as
Dulberg works with him and his promoter Rodney King and wife Natasha Vydrina
cheer him on.
SEGMENT 8: MATCH 3:
Referee:
Jose Soares
Sevendust's "Black" plays over the PA system and the
crowd doesn't know whether to cheer or boo once they hear the music. Their
reaction is quickly turned positive once Paul Dawkins steps through the
curtain, ready for his first televised appearance in two weeks.
Cade: Paul Dawkins has got to be chomping at the bit to
get a piece of Jackie Baccaro tonight.
Madsen: It was two weeks ago that he was viciously
assaulted by his former partner, so that's definitely understandable.
Cade: And we have learned that Dawkins
has accepted Baccaro’s challenge from last week and will meet his former
partner at Revival in what should be a huge match.
Madsen: It sure should!
The Tea Party's "Temptation" hits next, and the crowd's
cheers boom even more as Greg Tantalus marches out through the entrance. He
power walks down the ramp with a purpose, to take out his longtime former
partner, Mike Griffin.
Cade: You're right about that Paul. It was last week when
Jonathan Brett chokeslammed Greg Tantalus right through our announce table to
basically save Mike Griffin's ass.
Madsen: Well we can't say that's the reason for sure.
Cade: The hell we can't! Greg Tantalus suffered a bruised
rib because of that attack and was given the rest of the week off. He returned
to action two days ago in Nashville against Brett, but that was just a set up
for him and Griffin to double team him to try and put him out again. I hope
they both get theirs tonight.
"F*ckin' In The Bushes" by Oasis plays next, and the
cheers grow to roars as The Iceman Jason Calysto makes his way down the ramp.
Cade: Submission match!? Is that official? Where did you
hear that?
Calysto steps into the ring and readies himself for action with
his partners as Tool's "Parabola" plays next. With Jonathan Brett
donning dark, black shades and Lauren Tantalus entering right behind him,
Hollywood Mike Griffin steps out in the center of the entrance with yet another
entourage, this time completed by his brother Infernus and Jackie Baccaro.
Griffin's majestic red, white and blue fireworks explode in the
air behind them as the group makes their way down the ramp, but their opponents
see no reason to wait as they hop out of the ring and dart up the ramp to go
after them!
Cade: Great, thanks to Brett again,
Madsen: That's the results you want when you have a
bodyguard.
Cade: He might have had the cover there if he didn't
showboat.
Ferrara: Probably, but
Jackie Baccaro takes the tag and scoops Tantalus off the mat to
deliver one backbreaker over his knee, followed by another before tossing him
down to the canvas. He makes an aggressive cover, but still only gets a count
of two. Baccaro gets to his feet, claiming the matchup is nearing its end as he
signals for his running forearm. He prepares himself in a corner and charges at
a barely-standing Tantalus, but the crafty veteran takes the Rookie of The Year
down with a drop toe hold that snaps his head across the bottom turnbuckle!
Cade: Alright! Time to make the tag Greg!
Madsen: Well he's about to be hurt even worse now!
Tantalus lunges to his corner and makes a tag, to Paul Dawkins!
The crowd goes berserk as Dawkins rushes into the ring and unloads on his
former partner with vicious right and left hands to the forehead. Baccaro has
absolutely no defense until Lauren Tantalus thinks fast enough to distract
Soares for Baccaro to score with a low blow!
Baccaro quickly tags out to Infernus, who rushes into the ring to
blatantly choke Dawkins to press his advantage. Infernus covers for a
brief two count, before locking him in a rear chinlock. The crowd quickly
begins to chant for Dawkins, who slowly pulls himself up. Using his height and
leverage advantage, Dawkins ducks forward and sends Infernus hard into the
turnbuckles before taking him down with a reverse DDT! Dawkins gets back up and
the building really erupts the moment he tags in Jason Calysto, but
Soares tells The Iceman to leave the ring, but he refuses and
nails Infernus with a huge spinning heel kick before going after
With Calysto fighting off
Madsen: He just knocked off his little sister!
Cade: Can't say she didn't deserve it!
Madsen: She's just getting over a concussion!
The Smooth One then turns his attention back to Infernus before
coming off the top and connecting with his rarely-seen 450-degree splash! The
flashbulbs cannot keep up with the speed of his dive and Tantalus hooks both
legs as Soares gets into position to count one....two....three!
"Temptation" hits again, but Tantalus doesn't bother
trying to celebrate. Instead, he hits the ropes and dives right through them on
the other side, taking out
Madsen: Tantalus scored the win for his team, but the wars
between these guys are far, far from over!
WINNERS VIA PINFALL AT
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK #5--